Silence Is Best
by ClaryBlackthorne13800
Summary: Set in SB, Rose was never with Adrian. 'Love fades, mine has' left Rose shattered. Then Lissa only adds salt to the wound by making Rose miserable. When none of your friends has your back then... who dose? I don't own VA all the characters belong to Richelle Mead. I only own the plot.
1. Chapter 1

Silence is best.

Chapter 1

RPOV

"Love fades, mine has." My heart stopped. Dimitri looked me in the eye and all I could see was cold, hard eyes staring back at me. My chest hurt with the pain of heartbreak. I felt my heart shatter, a million questions flying through my mind.

_Why didn't he love me?_

_Had I done something wrong?_

_Was I misguided in my savior of him?_

_Was I not good enough?_

Then the shock washed off and all that was left was malice and anger. I wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face, but I couldn't. I was a Guardian now. Something in my head switched and all my emotions suddenly fell away. I had been rejected one too many times, and was over it. My body and mind felt numb, like a tube of LMX had been poured over me. My guardian mask fell into place and I stuck my hand out to him. Hesitantly, he followed suit; grasping my hand in his calloused grip. I slowly shook his hand. And did the one thing no one would even expected Rose Hathaway to do. I gave up.

"I wish you a safe and happy life, Guardian Belikov. I'm sorry to have wasted your time." With that said I turned and left. Leaving a dumbfounded Guardian behind me.

I made it back to the room I was staying in and it suddenly seemed too bright, too cheery and too…alive. That was something I didn't feel. My emotions were still there but for some reason I felt as if a sheet of glass held them at arms length. But the hurt and betrayal was still there, the complete and utter astonishment bashing against my mental barrier, pleading to be heard. The room wasn't mine to keep even though Vasilisa had her own apartment on the other side of court. I locked the door and made my way the real estate agent.

….

After about thirty minutes of property searching I had found a functional, livable apartment close to where Vasilisa was currently living. It had, luckily just been vacated and was up for an appropriate selling value. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchenette, laundry room, living space and a sizable office. After packing I made my way to my new apartment. Unlocking the door I had the nasty surprise of finding the living area painted a horrendous shade of yellow. I placed my bags by the door and explored a little. It would do. It was closer to Vasilisa and her partner, Christian. Although at the moment Guardian Belikov rather idolized Vasilisa, which meant as soon as he was cleared he would return to be her Guardian. The thought brought a grimace to my face.

The door to my apartment led to the living room, of which was furnished with simplistic chattel. From there it led to the kitchenette with the laundry just beyond. Two doors led off from the living area, one to a decent sized bedroom and the other to a small yet cozy bathroom. I had bought the apartment pre-furnished: easier and cheaper. The walls were painter a colour between white and grey. The room had a dresser, vanity, bed and closet. The bed was in the middle of the room, a queen-sized bed adorned with red sheets. I mercilessly ripped the sheets from the bed, and then threw them in a bag to take to the salvos. Anything colourful I could find around the apartment – towels, sheets, throw rugs, cushions or even dish wear – suffered the same fate.

Then I made my way to the small – understatement – mall that the court held within its walls. New cream sheet, plain white dish wear and white towels were all on the 'to get' list. I begrudgingly moved from store to store, getting what I needed then moved on. I also got paint and brushes to match the colour scheme. Just as I was leaving the last store, I noticed a familiar blonde haired girl with a black haired boy on her arm. She dropped the bags she was carrying and walked over to me with purpose lining her steps. I knew I would be expecting a lecture but what happened next surprised me. Her hand clapped across my face. She, Vasilisa Dragomir, had just slapped me, in public.

"How dare you! I told you to stay away from him and give him space, but no. You had to rub salt into the wound. You don't deserve him, you never will you… you… whore! Stay away from him, understand?" She yells herself breathless, Lord Ozera and I standing in shock. I knew a red handprint was blossoming on my cheek, but all I did was avert my eyes to the floor. We had attracted an audience and it was unwanted but not unwarranted.

"Yes, Princess Vasilisa." I answered, my mask firmly in place. Vasilisa strode off picking up her bags and hurried to continue as if nothing had happened, leaving Christian to scurry after her. I kept my head down until I reached my apartment. I finished unpacking the items and putting them in the appropriate places. When I finished, I lay sheets over the furniture and carpet. I also moved everything away from the walls. Then I began the long and silent process of repainting the room. I let my mind recount the endeavors that today had held. The look in Guardian Belikovs eyes as I wished him well, he must have noticed the pain in my eyes. But then again I'm sure he didn't care enough to care. Then Vasilisas hatred towards my ill-advised actions, it hurt and not just the red mark on my cheek.

Then what else had I expected? Forgiveness? Compassion? No, that was to high a price to ask for free. I put up more and more barriers between us through the bond until there was nothing but a whisper. That was how, standing there brushing a paintbrush up and down the walls I felt another crack thunder through my cold, black heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN Enjoy the next chapter I may not post the next until thursday (AUSTRALIA). So enjoy while you can. Leave comments and ideas in the reviews, i always read them! **

Chapter 2.

In the weeks that followed I fell into the familiar rhythm of waking at 5, training till 6, doing my guardian duties, clinging to the shadows, doing a shift at the perimeter of the court – that started a 9pm vampire time - after another guardian took over care for Vasilisa, getting home at 1 and sleeping. Slowly Princess Vasilisa forgot that I was her Guardian and began gossiping about how 'arrogant', 'rude' and 'selfish' I was. Or perhaps she didn't forget. It all washed over me in the same way, like dead bark across rocks: gratingly slow. Christian always looked at me at her hate filled words to see if it had any effect on me. I just remained emotionless. It stung how little she thought of me and I tried not to flinch at her cruelness.

Today, however, was different. Guardian Belikov had regained his title the previous day and was being assigned to Vasilisa. I dragged myself out of bed early today, did the usual mundane tasks, showering, changing and brushing my hair back into a ponytail. I packed my gym clothes into a bag and made my way across court to the Guardian training facility. Once I had signed in at the reception, I pushed open one of the double doors to the equipment area, only to see the sandy blonde hair of Eddie Castile.

I try to cruise by unnoticed but his head snaps to the side, looking directly at me. A huge smile lights up his tanned face, one that I, in the past, would have eagerly returned. Quickly makes his way over to me, and wraps his arms around my smaller frame. I stiffen and he seemed to notice when I didn't hug him back. Slowly, hesitantly, he pulls away. He looked into my eyes and holds me at arms length, his strong arms holding my forearms

"What wrong, Rose? Are you upset? I haven't seen you in a while, what's happened?" He spits question after question. Then he notices the prominent bags under my eyes, the sharp outline of my structure.

"Guardian Castile, I'm positively fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to attend to." He pulled his hands away as if he had been burnt. I make my way over to the punching bag and add to my collection of bruises on my knuckles.

…

After my encounter with Guardian Castile I made my way to Vasilisa and Christians apartment. Getting there at 6 on the dot. They would usually be up between 7 and 9 o'clock. But as I opened the door I saw a sight that stopped me dead in the hallway. Vasilisa was wearing her pajamas with tears in her eyes while Christian was wearing what I would describe as traveling clothes, and a suitcase beside his leg.

"Lissa you cannot continue to treat Rose like this! She is a person; she was your best friend for Christ's sake. Is this about Belikov? Are you siding with him over Rose?" He yells at her.

" I can and I will. You don't understand what is going on Rose disrespected direct orders-" He cuts her off with a thundering shout.

"ORDER! You sound like she was created to kiss your feet or even the very ground you walked on. You've changed, Lissa, and not for the better!" He said taking a step away from her.

Rage filled her tearful eyes and she swung her palm towards his face. But I chose that moment to make my presence known. With speed I didn't know I possessed I move and grabbed her wrist with ease. They both looked at me with wide eyes, Vasilisa cheeks going red from anger. She wrenched her hand from my grip and turned her slap towards me. I took it and then lowered my head.

"How dare you. You do not touch me again or I shall have you reassigned. Do you understand me, Dhampir? I can make your life hell. I can make it so no one will ever wan to have you their Guardian again." Just then we both heard the door close and she slapped me again.

…

The rest of day went along as any other day would, shadows, silence and suffering, from both parties. Vasilisa wouldn't stop crying, then as Belikov came to take the night shift, she insisted that he take the night off and not to return until 3 hours after my shift ended the next day – even through in a little compulsion – which he greatly accepted. That meant that I wouldn't be sleeping tonight or tomorrow. Vasilisa got into very 'suggestive' clothes and walked to one of the notorious clubs in court. I called Guardian Hans to tell him someone would need to cover my shift, which I got an earful about being irresponsible and unprofessional. I didn't protest when he gave me a double shift for the next night. _No rest for the help, _I thought bitterly.

A wave of heat and BO hit me and I wrinkled my nose slightly as we entered the club. I kept my gaze on Vasilisa as we weaved our way to the bar. She sat on one of the empty stools and I took my position next to her at a respectful distance. I watched as Vasilisa drowned her 3rd bottle of beer then her 5th shot of vodka. Then turned away to see a young Moroi man made his way over to me. I made my face expressionless and did a sweep of the premises when I returned my gaze to its original place it was met with the handsome face of the Moroi man. He lent forward enough to smell his breath, which reeked of alcohol.

"Hey, beautiful want to see want a man can do with that fine body of yours?" He lent in even further but I refused to back down. Instead I just pushed him back away from me lightly and kept my face emotionless.

"Not interested." I stated curtly. His eyes went dark as the rejection registered.

"But I am." The Moroi and I turn to see Vasilisa. She swayed slightly on her feet but he took her hand and led her out of the club. I followed them to another apartment building on the opposite side of court to hers and mine. I stood by the door t o the building and tried not to fall asleep as the hours ticked by.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Somehow I had managed to stay wake throughout the night. Though it may have had something to do with the 6 coffees I brought from the café in the apartment complex. At about 10 o'clock the elevator dinged and a tired, hung over Vasilisa stumbled out in too tall high heels. I suppressed a grimace. She sidled right up to me and raised her hand, I gave an involuntary filch and couldn't help but notice the satisfaction in her Jade eyes. She pointed at my face and said three small words.

"No a word." With that she stormed away, me following begrudgingly behind her, my guardian mask firmly in place.

We reached her apartment shortly after and she collapsed onto her couch with a sigh, I, however, took up my position by the window. After what seemed like forever her breathing finally evened out and fell asleep. I slouched against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief when I heard the faintest of clicks. Distant almost like it was at the front door…

I moved into action. I detached myself from the wall and moved down the hall to where the door was located. Just as the door came into view there was a shuffle of feet coming from Vasilisas room. I pushed the door open lightly and came face to face with none other than Christian Ozera. He was grabbing his things from the ensuite. His head swiveled in my direction with uncanny swiftness. We both stood there, wide-eyed and frozen, when I suddenly broke the silence.

"I'm sorry Lord Ozera, I will leave you to continue to your salvaging." I said turning around, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I flinched involuntarily, after how many times I had been hit for 'doing something wrong' it had just become habit. His eyes softened.

"No, no, Rose. Nothing to apologies for, I was just retrieving some of my things." He said softly like speaking to a wild animal that needed to be taken caution around. He face-palmed himself as though remembering something. "Oh, I swung around to your place last night after you shift ended but you weren't home." I keep my head down. There's nothing else I can do; his voice is too soft. I am so accustomed to malice that I don't know how to react to compassion.

"Sorry, Princess Vasilisa insisted on my company when she went clubbing." I intentionally left out the bit about her going home with some random Moroi. But his eyes darkened anyway.

"That was probably because you stopped her from hitting me earlier that day. I never said thank you so… Thank you, I guess." He gently took my hand and I just stared because for the fist time in weeks I felt… something.

"Your gratitude is not necessary Lord Oz-" He cut me off.

"It's Christian, Rose, you know that." He squeezed my hand lightly.

" Anyway, Christian," The name came hesitantly due to the fact that I had grown so used to titles. "I should let you get back to your work. I'll kick the wall if Vasilisa wakes up." I handed him my keys as an after thought. With that I pulled my hand from his warm grasp and made my way back to Vasilisas sleeping form. It was a little over an hour later when I heard the door close with a soft - almost inaudible - click. The rest of the day consisted of Vasilisa mainly sleeping, snoring lightly, vomiting and complaining to no one. Once, though, she did ask me to get her a cup of tea.

Without a word I did the meager task for her only to have the cup thrown at my face because it was too hot. It hit my cheekbone, the hot water splashing across my eye blinding me momentarily. I cried out in pain only to receive yet another slap. After that I remained silent and so did she. Finally 11 o'clock rolled around Guardian Belikov walked through the door, looking refreshed and ready. He barely spared me a glace. I gave him a report on her activities, when finally he looked at my face. His eyes widened in shock.

"Rose, what happened to your face?" I looked down, re-enforcing my Guardian mask making it practically impossible to see the lie. Almost

"I walked into a pole." With that I left.

…

I was feeling exhausted, I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten or bathed. But I stilled punched in at the office and relived the Guardian from duty. He gratefully accepted the coffee I handed him in apology for being tardy. The night was cold and I walked the perimeter. When it started to rain. My Guardian attire wasn't suited to this kind of whether and I shivered. My hair was wet but then again what wasn't? The rain was getting denser and denser. I continued to shiver but refused to stop walking. It was my job, no my responsibility to watch over the people of court.

I was practically dead on my feet when the sun started to creep away and darkness enveloped the world again. My replacement got there shortly after the rain stopped. I looked at my watch to see the time was 4:30. No time to sleep. I left for my apartment racing across, well more like stumbling across court to where I lived.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey guys thought you'd want this chapter sooner rather than later, so I finished and posted it. So far I've had a positive to this story, but earlier this evening I received an email, from FanFiction, containing a Guest reviewers opinion. The content was really hurtful so I've decided to delete this story. Some of the things you said really hurt, I was so upset by the response it unbalanced all the good. So this is my last update.**

**JUST KIDDING!**

**If you don't like what I write than don't read it! I, in my time on FanFiction, have read plenty of FanFics I haven't agreed with, that doesn't mean I abuse the hell out of the story and/or writer. The only reason you write a review is because you care, and in your review you made it clear that you didn't. Haters really don't bother me, because the only reason you hate on others is to make you feel better. So, please leave me alone, I'm only a 14 year old girl. Please don't burden my account with your potty mouth.**

**CAN'T SEE THE HATERS!**

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><p>Chapter 4.<p>

Christian was asleep on my couch when I got home so I jumped in a quick shower before rushing to the training facility. I signed in and got to work. I couldn't do much because I was too exhausted; I mainly spent my time on the treadmill. It was swiftly approaching 6 so I had a shower. When I got out I sat on one of the mats. I knew that if I fell asleep at home there would be no waking me up in time. I just sat there with my head resting against my knees. I must have dozed because next thing I knew my phone was making angry noises at me. I looked to see about 10 text messages from Guardian Belikov.

YOU'RE LATE!

_Shit._

I ran as fast as my sleep deprived legs would take me. Only stopping when I burst through the door like a lunatic. I was only 20 minutes late and it only took 5 to run from the Training faculty to here but the looks on Vasilisa and Guardian Belikovs faces told me I may as well have been an hour late. And that when the yelling began.

DPOV

_She's late,_ I thought angrily. How could Rose be so irresponsible? I had only been back one day and yet she was late. Lissa told me it was a common occurrence and my blood boiled. I thought I taught her better than that. Just then she burst through the door her hair wet and her cheeks red. I narrowed my eyes at her and she cringed. But all I saw was red.

"Guardian Hathaway do you know what time it is. I was supposed to be gone 20 minutes ago and you kept not only me but also Lissa waiting for you to get you ass out of bed. You only have to work between 6 and 9 o'clock. But you needed your 'beauty sleep'." I yelled at her the whole time she looked at me emotionlessly, although I did see her eyes darken when I mentioned her 'beauty sleep'. I saw her inhale slightly before retorting, but it wasn't much of one.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting but you must understand-"

"No, Hathaway you need to understand that you have responsibility to your charge. What if we were attacked by Strigoi and Lissa turned, how would you feel?" I stop, giving her a chance to respond.

"But I was just-"

"How would you feel, Guardian Hathaway?!" I yell. She flinches again. But she stands taller all emotion and resilience draining from her face. I don't notice anything other than the fact that she was late and could potentially put her charge in danger. She doesn't answer me. "I will be telling Guardian Hans about this and he will see that the appropriate punishment are in order." I left then with out saying goodbye to either of them.

RPOV

I tried not to look Vasilisa in the eye when she came up and hit me. Then she grabbed her keys and walked out the door with me trailing behind. We went to the mall, of course. She was catching up the politics and with 'friends'. And I ended up carrying all of her bags. When they were in the food court I got a phone call from Guardian Hans. I had another double shift tonight. _I'm dead, _I thought sadly. I don't know how much more I could handle, how many nights had I gone with out sleep? I couldn't remember the last time I ate something substantial.

My body felt dead and tired and dehydrated and just… empty. Vasilisa didn't permit me to eat on the job, in fact there wasn't a lot I could do. I stated sneezing at about midday and she yelled at me every time. As much as I hate to say it I didn't really have anybody to rely on at the moment. Guardian Castile had Jill to protect and Christian had stuff to do I assume. But no one would believe me if I said Vasilisa, the girl I risked my career for, ran away with and shared a physic bond with would ever treat me poorly. I was running a fever and my palms were clammy; probably from the double shift in the rain. I shifted on my feet uneasily.

Stress was finally beginning to take its toll on my body. I was feeling dizzy. My stomach growled and she glared at me I felt my self control slip as, for the first time in weeks, let feelings colour my face. She only turned around, flipping her platinum hair over her shoulder. On our way back to her apartment I sipped and fell into a pile of shopping bags. Because no one was around she slapped me, somehow managing to scape her nail across my cheek. I felt the warm liquid slide down my face. She huffed and continued on her leaving me to hurriedly pick up all the shopping bags and follow.

When she was making herself dinner I scribbled down some extensive notes on what had happened in Vasilisas life that day. 9 o'clock came and went it was nearly 10 when Guardian Belikov walked through the door.

"I'm so sorry Ro-" I cut him off by slamming the piece of paper in front of him with little force but a lot of emphasis. Then I ran out the door to try and make it to my shift before 10. I brought 2 coffees this time, one for me and one for the other Guardian.

"I am extremely sorry Guardian Williams my charges other Guardian was late." I say tiredly.

"That's fine Guardian Hathaway, I heard you have a double tonight but you look exhausted." He says looking at my face. I realize I have been too slack to even put my mask back up. I quickly amend my mistake.

"I'm fine. I'll see you around." He shrugs and wanders off. The night is long and at about 3 am I begin to get dizzy again. I lean against a tree as I try to focus. It doesn't help so I keep walking. I don't get far because everything suddenly goes black.

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><p><strong>AN: Just incase you didn't get it I was really not bothered by the hate comments and shall continue as I please just to annoy them! <strong>

**(INSERT EVIL LAUGH HERE)**

**Thanks to Wee Aunty and Anon you guys really made me feel awesome. And many thanks to everyone and your constant support! NEXT CHAPTER SOON. **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

CPOV

I woke to Roses home phone ringing so I decided to pick it up and write a message for her. She didn't come back last night or even the night before that in fact I can't remember how long she hadn't been back for. I reached the phone; it was by the TV in the living room. I was worried when I recognized it as the hospitals number. Was Lissa hurt? What's going on?

"Hello?" I asked slowly.

"Lord Ozera, we were informed you were the one to call – also that you would be at Guardian Hathaway's house." The woman on the other end of the phone line sounded solemn almost bored. I said a small yes and she continued. "Well, it seems Guardian Hathaway has fallen ill. You were her emergency contact number. We don't have any details, the tests haven't come back yet, but it would be much obliged if you would come down."

"I'm on my way. Thank you." I ended the call and raced out the door; almost forgetting to put the phone down. I ran across court to reach the hospital, as it was coming into view I sped up – if that was even possible. I rushed through the door and to the reception.

"Name of patient."

"Rose Hathaway. Is she okay?"

"Room 205. Up the stairs it should be one of the last in the corridor." The receptionist answered completely disregarding my question.

I climbed the stairs two at a time and raced down the hall, passing doctors and nurses, patients and families. The room numbers flashed by and I had to focus to remember which number Rose was in. I found it and peered inside. The room was privet, with only one bed. The walls were white and a soft beeping was emitting from the room. Rose was lying in a hospital bed in a white hospital gown. She looked pale and worn; bags under her closed eyes. But other then the obvious she looked peaceful for the first time in weeks. I sat in the seat next to her bed. Putting my head in my hands. Rose hadn't told me about being her emergency contact. Hell she didn't even tell me she was sick.

The doctor came in shortly after and I get specifics.

"She is severely sleep deprived, dehydrated and under fed. It could be the result of stress or to much work or anxiety. We're not sure. But she also has bruising on her right cheek, and a 1st degree burn almost covering her eyelid. She needs bed rest and fluids but can be released later today. Oh, and no Guardian duties." With that said he left. I just sat there no knowing what to do. In the end I dragged my chair over to her bed and held her hand, stroking her knuckles whit my thumb lightly. After a while I leant my head against her bed and dozed.

….

It was hours later, when I was awake again that I felt her hand squeeze mine. I looked up just in time to see her eyes flutter open. Her whole body tensed and she tried to sit up, but I lightly pushed her down.

"Rose your in the hospital do you know what happened?" I asked cautiously. She stared wide-eyed and scared.

"What time is it? Christen when did I get here." She sat up again and brushed off my protests.

"Its 10 in the morning, but you need to sit down. Your under orders of bed rest and fluids." It was then that she noticed the IV drip and ripped it out, wincing briefly before brushing past me to where her clothes where folded at the end of her bed. I just stared, where did she have to go so urgently? "Rose where are you going?" I asked.

"To work Christian, what does it look like?" I grabbed her arm.

"Are you not listening? Bed rest and fluids. Now please get back into bed." I tried to pull her back onto the hospital bed but she just started yelling at me.

"No Christian I'm not listening! If I don't get to work now I'm going to get in big trouble. I could lose my job!" I begin to chuckle and she glared at me. "What's so funny Ozera?" Rose yells.

"I called Guardian Hans, you've got the week off." She fell to the floor in a heap of limbs. I just picked her back up and sat her on the bed. I didn't know what she was feeling, or thinking. Later the doctor said she could go home. I helped her get to her apartment. She promptly fell asleep on the couch.

DPOV

It was nearly 7 when I heard a slight knocking on the door and I was absolutely fuming. An hour late, it was worse than yesterday. I got to the door and flung it open ready to yell my lungs out, when I saw the small figure on the other side. It wasn't Rose, then where was she?

"Guardian… b… Belikov, I wa… was told to be here by Guardian Hans." She has a small frame, short, choppy, blonde hair. Terrified hazel eyes stare back at me. Then I realize how scary I must seem to everyone.

She is smaller compared to me, her face barely reaching my chest. She is quite beautiful; her small nose turned up slightly at the end. Her cheeks were flushed.

"Okay." Was all I can say. She walked in and I walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

RPOV

I'm not sure how long I slept but when I did wake the TV was playing quietly and a heavenly smell was coming from the kitchenette. I dragged myself off the couch slowly, stretching my aching muscles. I stumbled my way into the kitchen only to see the most confusing sight of my life. Christian was darting back and forth around the kitchen, cooking the most heavenly smelling food I had smelt in a long time. I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or thank him profoundly. I went with the former. His head snapped towards me and then I just couldn't stop. My laughs turned into gasps and then hiccups.

A beautiful smile lit his face as I sat down at the table, I, myself couldn't stop smiling either. He placed a plate in front of me with a mumbled greeting then sat across from me with a plate of his own. On my plate was the most mouth watering food I had seen in a long while. Bacon, poached eggs, grilled tomato and toast all cooked to perfection. I dug in and nearly moaned at the taste of the glorious food.

"You know, one day you will make a beautiful house wife. I practically see it. You, wearing a pink apron, slaving over a hot stove with kids hanging around your feet; its going to happen, I can see it." I said around a mouth full of food. Christian just shakes his head at me then he looks up at me almost as if he's remembered something.

"How come you don't call me by my nicknames anymore? I mean we have know each other for a while, and been through a lot together. So why the change?" I placed my fork down and looked at the half-eaten food.

"I've changed. Ever since the Dimitri and then Vasilisa incidences I haven't been quite right." I said cryptically. He snorts, an irritated noise.

"What's that suppose to mean? That you don't feel the same or that you feel alone, because you not-"

"I feel broken!" I yell standing up so fast my chair falls to the floor with a loud crash. "I'm not me anymore. There is no Rose Hathaway anymore, just a shell of what used to be. When Mason was killed I felt a crack shudder through my heart. When Dimitri was turned I felt another on and then again when he rejected me. Then Vasilisa's show of indifference in the Mall…" I trail off. My heart aches with the hurt of the past but that's all it is; the past. "She's gone. And I don't think she will ever come back." I don't know what made him do it but he just got up and held me, his face showed concern and worry, but most of all love. At first I wasn't sure what to do, then I clung to him like my life depended on it.

"She's not gone 'cause I'm gonna get her back."

After breakfast we just sat on the couch and watched some TV. I wasn't totally sure half the time what we were watching but after a while I dozed.

…

I woke to the door to my apartment bursting open, instantly I was in a defensive position. I had no stake, but there was no nausea so there was no Strigoi. A very angry looking Vasilisa marched through the open door, then right up to me where, to the surprise of her Guardian, she hit me. The slap hadn't really hurt, neither had any of the others but it was the fact that she was slapping me that hurt.

"Do you know how much trouble you've caused? Dimitri was an hour late leaving this morning. And that was all your fault you-" She's cut off by an even angrier Christian.

"Rose is sick, Lissa! You made her sick; you and you need of constant attention. I know that you slept with a random Moroi. And Rose didn't even have to tell me." Vasilisa turn back to me as if he never said anything and all I can see in her eyes is hate.

"You're useless, you couldn't protect me from Victor and you couldn't protect Mason from the Strigoi!" She knew how I felt about that. I felt my mask crumble and at the same time I felt my heart ach painfully in my chest. I looked, wide-eyed, at her, at the pure unfiltered rage that lay behind calculating eyes. And something in me snapped, I was sick of being her punching bag, I was sick of taking her shit.

"You don't know anything so shut you stupid trap and leave my apartment now!" Shock registered on her pale face and with a huff she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Christian rested his hand carefully on my shoulder, and a shot of electricity shuddered its way through my body. I jerked in surprise, that's only ever happened with one person: Guardian Belikov. I wasn't angry anymore, no, just sad and disappointed.

"I'm going to bed, ill see you later." I had the time and the option to sleep so I would. I turned to face him and his eyes held compassion and something else I hadn't ever seen before in him. Love.

"Take care Rose, don't let her get to you. You did all you could." I nodded and slowly made my way over to my room where I collapsed on the bed gratefully. After a while I must have slept because I remember dreaming, but I think the more appropriate term would be having a nightmare. I watch over and over as the Strigoi snaps Masons neck and drinks from Eddie. I wake from my dream crying out for Mason, then I curl into the fetal position; trying to hold myself together.

"Rose?" A head of black hair peeks in my door and crystal blue eyes meet mine. He doesn't hesitate as he rushes across the room and pulls me to his chest so I'm almost sitting in his lap as he holds me. I don't cry, just sit there silently shaking and he doesn't ask questions.

I don't remember when but I eventually fall asleep to Christian's even breaths.

**AN: For those of you who haven't worked it out yet, yes, this is going to be a C+R fanfic. I just wanted to see what it would be like if Lissa became a raving lunatic (no offence Richelle) and pushed Rose away. I don't know what it is but I almost never liked Lissa, not to say I'm bias just that I was curious. Oh and Guset reviewer who accused me of being against Romitri, I only have one thing to say; I was one of the many heart broke girls sitting through most of the series going "you love her, she loves you so screw the world and make out all ready!" **

**Peace out. ;P**


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